


Cold Comfort

by ilovejared



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Drinking Demon Blood, M/M, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Season 3, Wincest - Freeform, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 20:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13278819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovejared/pseuds/ilovejared
Summary: Written for the Wincest Writing Challenge Round 14, Tarot CardsPrompt was The ChariotCard has multiple meanings but I chose control, willpower, victory,determination.An alternate take on what could have happened is Season 3.





	Cold Comfort

You can’t bear to take your eyes off of him.

The six months you spent without him has left a bitter aftertaste, like the ashes of a previous life.

You know what you have to do. 

No matter what the cost.

All that matters is saving Dean.

(I won’t let you go to Hell. I’ll find a way to save you. I promise.)

The memories of those long, lonely nights, when you couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to sleep, because the dreams, they haunted you, haunt you still.

(Dean screaming your name and the screams didn’t stop, wouldn’t stop.)

You would wake, the vestiges of the dream (nightmare) clinging to you like the strands from Shelob’s great lair, your lungs burning, scalded, from Hell’s flames, whispering your brother’s name.

But your heart (your soul) was frozen, numb because what need was there for a heart if he was not there to love? What need for a soul if the other half of it is gone?

(How could your heart beat when his did not?)

Once the Trickster took pity on you and put an end to his perverse game, you woke on another Wednesday, and your brother was there and he doesn’t remember the last six months, but you do and it still hurts so much that you can barely breathe.

And then he’s in your arms and you don’t want to let go (never let you go) but you want out of this godforsaken motel and the memories it holds.

So you drive until you can’t stand it any longer and pull into the next ramshackle motel you see.

You’re up against him the minute the door closes, mouth on his, crushing him to you, while your lips tell him without words how much you missed him.

How much you need (love) him.

You’re trembling and he feels it, the urgency, of course he does, because he knows you better than anyone ever has, ever will.

He breathes your name and it’s both a question and a plea, and all the answers lie in the feel of his skin against yours, his hands in your hair, his mouth moving down the line of your neck and he doesn’t have to ask for anything, he never has, because you’ve always given him everything.

He is everything.

Soon enough, his body is taking you in, and you cry out at the feel of him around you, not enough and too much, and you rock into him and he rises to meet you and, oh God, you can’t lose him, not ever again.

You find absolution in your brother’s arms for the thing’s you’ve done and for the things you will do, because if you have to walk into the fires of Hell you will and you’ll welcome the pain if it means he’s safe.

Not long after, you summon Ruby, and you have one question for her.

“How do I save my brother?”

The first taste of her blood ignites something deep within you and you feel it uncoiling like a cobra, sleek and dangerous.

She is a means to an end and when you’re done with her, you’ll kill her with no hesitation and no remorse.

You’re draining a body, a demon, and when you drink the blood, it’s thick and warm and with each drop you know you’re getting closer to saving Dean.

The path you’ve chosen is dangerous (monstrous) but you will follow it wherever it leads as long as it means you won’t lose Dean.

And if you hate yourself a little more each day, what does it matter?

Without your brother, your life means nothing.

You are nothing.

The promise you made to him makes the blood taste sweeter.

 

Note: Shelob is the spider in LOTR. You know Sam read Tolkien!


End file.
